Ode to a Project

To report, or not to report, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Scope Change,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of requirements,
And by delivering end them: to write, to wait
No more; and by a write, to say we end
The head-aches, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Projects are heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To write to send,
To send, perchance to Complete; Ay, there's the rub,
For in that completion of projects, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal software,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long projects:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of extensions,
The Oppressor's budget, the proud man's Architecture,
The pangs of reported Bugs, the Code's delay,
The insolence of Meetings, and the Spurns
That consultants merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Deadline make
With a bare Laptop? Who would Installations bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary Production Release,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Deployment returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Status Reports do make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Project Status
Is sicklied o'er, with the progress cast in Yellow,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their Responses turn awry,
And lose the name of Agile. Soft you now,
The Project Manager? In thy Status Reports
Be all my code remembered.