Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I Love My Surface RT, But...

Each holiday season my employer gets a "tech gift" for everybody in the company. And last year was quite possibly the biggest one yet, a Surface RT. Before I go any further, I want to tell you that I love my Surface RT. I loves it very much. I love the feel of it. I love its usefulness as a Netflix appliance (huzzah for the built-in kick stand!). I love writing code for it. I love that I work for an employer who buys us things like that. All in all, I am very happy with my Surface RT.


Well, I've come to realize why I'm so happy with it. It's not because the Surface is a compelling product or provides a rich experience or anything like that. It's not because the ratio of price to value is so good. It's not because it's a good product. No. It's because I'm a tech geek. And, as a tech geek, I like tech toys. It didn't have to specifically be a Surface, it could have been anything. Any shiny new toy would have been great. Even look at how I worded it in the above paragraph... "I love my Surface RT." I don't love the product, I just love that I have one.

Additionally, I've come to realize that my colleagues and I, who all share this love for our Surface RTs, are in a distinct minority. Most people do not love this product. And, honestly, I don't blame them.

The most direct experience I've had with this is watching my family. I have a wife and three daughters. (Only two of whom are old enough to even use such a device. The infant would just drool on it.) For a while, I didn't let anybody use my Surface. We have an iPad, we have a Kindle Fire (flashed with a real version of Android of course, since that Amazon-only stuff was crap), we have a handful of iPhones between us, we have computers and devices and toys aplenty. So I kept the Surface for myself.

My daughters didn't like that, of course. "Daddy, can we play with the new big phone?" (They started calling the iPad a "big phone" when I first got it. They were younger and, well, it was just like Daddy's phone but bigger. The name has kind of stuck.) "Sorry honey, that one's mine. I need to do important stuff on it. You can use the other ones, though." And they were happy enough to do so, but that lingering desire for the new toy was always there.

One day, somewhat recently, I opened up relations with China. I allowed the family unfettered use of the Surface RT. I presented it to them, power cord in hand, and instructed them to go forth and enjoy the device.

That lasted only a few minutes. Literally.

First, I had to create a user account other than my own. After all, one of the cool features of Windows 8 devices is the multi-user setup. And since my Windows 8 account is used across a handful of other computers and devices, I didn't want the kids polluting my stuff. So I set about creating an account. This was a painful process. It was clunky, unintuitive, and just overall dismal. But I put up with it. (I don't have any specifics on it to share at this time, it was a short while ago but long enough that the details are forgotten. Just know that, while the OS walks you through the initial setup rather well, setting up additional users is jarring and unpleasant. At least it was for me.)

The process of setting up a user account for my older daughter actually lasted longer than her interest in the device. Again, literally.

My older daughter took hold of the Surface and began to play. First thing's first, she wanted to play Minecraft. (She loves playing it on the iOS devices and on the family computers.) Sorry, not available. The app store doesn't have one, and the full version doesn't run on RT. So she looked for other games. There... aren't many. In the commercials they highlight Angry Birds, which is available. But who the hell cares about Angry Birds anymore?

The only thing she could find to do with it was watch something on Netflix. (Honestly, that's about 95% of my use of it as well.) This is where the kick stand comes in handy. You can place it nearby (such as on a night stand) and watch your favorite movies and TV shows. At least until the battery runs out. Which will be soon.

This trend continued until everybody in the house completely lost interest in the device. It currently sits unused on a table, devoid of battery life because nobody cares enough to plug it in.

Again, I love this device. It's great, as a toy. As a family computing device, not so much. This is pretty evident in the fact that my family just doesn't give a crap about it. Remember how great the built-in kick stand was? Each time my older daughter gets something to eat and sits down at the table to watch Netflix, does she grab the device with the built-in kick stand? No. She grabs the iPad, leans it against something, and places a napkin between it and the table to create some static friction to keep it standing up.

I want so much for this to be a more compelling device. I want to write software for it. I want it to open up .NET development throughout the tablet and mobile spaces even more than Mono does. (Just listening to that last sentence cements the fact that I am a tech geek, not an average consumer.) I want it to be successful. But it's not. Microsoft apologists in general will happily tell you that "the next one will be better" but I've learned not to hold my breath on that. (Pick a Microsoft product, and I'll show you an apologist who has said this about the shortcomings for any given version of it.)

Today a colleague showed us an amusing web site called iPad Death Watch. Apparently the Microsoft apologists are thriving here. To give you an idea, this is my favorite quote about Apple's iPad on that page:
"What an utter disappointment and abysmal failure of an Apple product. How can Steve Jobs stand up on that stage and hype this product up and not see everything this thing is not and everything this thing is lacking?"
It's so delicious to read it must be fattening. Honestly, I can't tell if that page is serious or satire. Imagining listening to someone say all the same things as Stephen Colbert, but it's not Stephen Colbert. Are they a comedian or are they insane? It'd be difficult to discern.

Amid all of the comments on that page, however, is an infographic which, again, leaves me wondering if it's serious or satire. For posterity, here is the infographic in its entirety:

I'll continue to try to use the term "Microsoft apologist" instead of "Microsoft shill" but it's going to be difficult.

So let's dissect this infographic a piece at a time...

  • Multiple Users
    • Easier and safer to share single device
      • "Safer"? Maybe. "Easier"? Definitely not. The process was painful. Maybe I wasn't doing it right? Kind of like iPhone 4 users weren't holding it right? Ya, if that excuse doesn't work for Apple then it doesn't work for Microsoft either. The principle of least astonishment left much to be desired in the interface here.
    • Same Windows user account experience but in a fun tablet size kids will love
      • I couldn't help but emit an audible chuckle when I read that. For one thing, it sounds like they're marketing a pill. But more to the point, my kids don't love it. At all. This also implies that people inherently "love" the "Windows user account experience" in the first place. I contend that nobody cares. People appreciate the benefits it can provide, but they don't care about the "Windows user account" part of it.
  • Metro core of RT
    • Addresses market that will likely be much more popular than traditional PCs within the next few years.
      • That's a creative way to say, "Our competitors have already enjoyed billions in profit from this market in the past few years, so we think there may be something to it."
    • Isn't aimed to be a PC replacement (i.e. - Incompatible with many desktop applications, partial driver support)
      • You're... not the best salesman... are you? "Incompatible with many desktop applications" is a benefit? No, it's a pain in the ass. One thing I have watched my family do is go to "desktop mode," get excited that it's a full computer, try to install something, and see an error message saying they can't use that. (And to rub salt in the wound, the same error suggests visiting the Windows App Store. Which has, like, 12 apps in the entire store. 4 of which are Angry Birds. It's absurd.) This is not a feature. This is a failure.
  • Mouse
    • When you want to get real work done, nothing beats a keyboard and a mouse.
      • First of all, don't quote yourself in your marketing material. Quote somebody else. Quoting yourself in an attempt to get your own point across is... not awesome.
      • Second, what's with the focus on "getting real work done"? Just a moment ago we were being sold on the idea that this "isn't aimed to be a PC replacement." Now we're being told that it's better because it can replace the PC? This isn't a product, this is an identity crisis. It reminds me of every failed attempt Microsoft has ever made to put a Start Menu on a phone. (And there have been many.) Remember that "market that will likely be much more popular than traditional PCs"? (Also known as that market where Apple has, with a single division of their business, out-profited the entire Microsoft corporate empire.) Trying to shove traditional PCs into that market isn't the way to go.
      • Finally, that last bullet point where he shows a negative is a bit... out of place. "No Mouse and Keyboard Center-based customization software offered just yet." Um... ok. Thanks. I guess the next one will be better?
  • USB Port
    • Connect: External hard drives, printers, keyboards, mice
      • It sounds an awful lot like this is really trying to be a traditional PC. I don't think I've ever wanted to print something from my iPad.
    • Transfer camera files
      • No, just no. This is not my PC. For internet-connected devices, files transfer (or should transfer) fairly seamlessly. (See Photo Stream) For non-connected devices (such as traditional digital cameras), I connect them to my PC. The PC is my central hub. From there they get disseminated to my other devices. (See Photo Stream) I would never even think to plug my digital camera into my iPad. It's a ridiculous notion. Again, and this is all over this friggin' infographic... Are you comparing this device with a PC or with an iPad? Microsoft doesn't seem to understand that there's a difference.
    • Charge phones
      • HA! The battery life is horrendous enough as it is. And now you're going to encourage people to plug powered devices into it? I bet the Surface RT powers down before the phone is even charged. Go ahead and try to plug a USB-powered spinning disk drive (like my old WD Passport, which I love) into one of these. I give it 5 minutes tops.
  • Task Switching aka "Windows Flip"
    • Easily flip between programs with Alt+Tab
      • Average consumers don't use Alt+Tab. They don't know or care about it. I did just discover in testing this one that Alt+Tab does include "metro" apps in the task switching, so that's cool. Point to Microsoft for that small bit of convenience. (It is the little things that make the compelling interface, after all.)
    • Windows 8 and RT also offer Metro-style "Switcher interface" (Win Key+Tab)
      • Ya, but it's only for Metro apps. So they've created a second kind of task switching which behaves almost like the first one, but differently. And they both exist on the same device. That's kind of jarring, don't you think? Oh, and also note that Metro apps don't show up in the traditional task bar, where people expect to see their apps. I guess this "Switcher interface" is the second task bar for a new class of apps. On a technical level I can understand this and it doesn't bother me. As a developer, this makes sense. But consumers will think it's stupid.
    • Apple could close the productivity gap between its iPad and the Surface... by adding one critical missing feature to iOS: Simply allow users to task switch by using Alt+Tab
      • Did you quote yourself again? But I digress...
      • Have you ever even seen an iPad? There is no Alt, and there is no Tab. There is no keyboard. I can't stress this enough, the iPad is not a PC. This identity crisis for the Surface and what it actually is is starting to get old. Besides, the iPad has a task switcher. Swipe to the side with 3 fingers. That feature has been there for a while now.
  • Fully-Functional Microsoft Office
    • Office Home & Student 2013 RT
      • Ok, I actually really like this part. Well, I would if I used Office for anything. (I do for work, but don't use my Surface RT for work because ([clears throat]) it is not a PC. But for people who do want to use Office on a tablet, including it was a pretty cool thing to do.
    • Unlike Office for iPad - will require monthly Office 365 subscription
      • There's an Office for iPad? I guess I didn't notice what with the iOS productivity apps so readily available. Pages, Numbers, and Keynote. Sure, they're "limited-functionality mobile apps" but, you know, they're on a limited functionality mobile device. (Not a PC?) As someone who also has a Mac (sort of a PC?) they play nicely with my setup. Oh, and they don't require a subscription to whatever Office 365 is. So, yes, iPad doesn't run Office. It doesn't purport to. My car also doesn't run Office. Is the Surface better than my car? (Note: My car is also not a PC.)
I don't fault Paul for this. He's in every way a Microsoft guy, and Microsoft is sending very mixed messages with their attempts to break into the non-PC market. The only clear message they seem to be sending is that they truly believe (whether intentionally or through a lack of understanding of the world around them) that the way to move into the non-PC space is to bring PCs there.

So that was enough ranting, and I got a little too emotionally charged on some of those responses. Maybe I'm the one who "doesn't get it"? I don't know. But my family doesn't get it either. Nor does just about anybody else I've met. And by "get it" I mean "buy a Surface or a Windows Phone 8." It's just not something people do.

Again, I love my Surface RT. I just don't see why anybody else would.

NB: My older daughter's birthday is coming up and we've bought her a simple Dell laptop as her very first computer. It will be running Windows 8. I can almost guarantee that the moment she turns it on and sees the Metro start menu, she's going to feel a sense of disappointment and think it's as bad as "the new big phone." I'll try to salvage that. Putting Minecraft on it will be my primary weapon.

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